I am interested in this Russian guy. We have been dating for few months now. However, I have yet to meet his friends or family. Hell, I dont know anything about them. Barely talks about anything yet he wants to know about me and my friends, family, etc. My friends suspect that he has other girls on the side, that he wont be with someone not Russian Orthodox/Christian, or that he doesnt think of me as someone to be serious with. I am clueless in Russian culture. I tried looking up information on their culture on dating. The worst thing is that I am totally crazy about him (although I try to hide it) because he doesnt want to be serious until he finishes his degree (so he says). I would appreciate any insight in Russian dating views.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
my friend was in a situation like yours, the guy also wouldn’t talk about his family, but she knew later that he was shy of his family, they were very religious, had bad jobs – really nothing to be proud off. Maybe your guy is like this.
i think he likes you though, because he asks about your family.
Russians are not so obsessive about having a russian boyfriend/girlfried, like sometimes asian people are. Russians don’t have this thing in their mentality: to marry only the person of your nation. There are of course some that like only russian girls, but guys like this wouldn’t ask an american girl out in the first place.
I am very sure that if he hangs out with you, he likes you very much, especially if his english is good.
best of luck to you with the guy.
Everything you are talking about is normal, and there is nothing you should worry about! Yes, may be our guys are slow.. BUT!!
You should know one thing! Our guys always keep their words!!! Its a matter of honour, i must say. Also its very difficult for our guys for the first time to say “I love you” unlike in other cultures.There are very few women to whom they say these words during their life. These words really mean everything. People believe, when Russian guy says “I love you”- it almost means- “I’ll marry you”. I think, you are lucky, if you’re a dating Russian guy!!!!!!!!!!!!! And- don’t listen anyone who is against it! Because, for sure,with him you ll be the happiest girl ever! Just give him time, don’t press, support and understand him!!!!!!!!
And never doubt coming to Russia, which is known for its hospitality!
If he is a Russian national, then I make bets that he views dating you as he would view dating a Russian woman.
Because there are more women than men in Russia, men tend to want women to chase them (the opposite of here). It is a also a common cultural thing for Russian men to have more than one girl – and even after marrying, they often have “lovers”.
Many times a Russian wife will “tolerate” her husband’s lovers, especially if he is a “good man”, as it is the only way she can “keep him”. (A good man is defined as one that does not drink too much, and does not abuse his wife too much).
Culturally (no offense my Russian men friends) women are seen more as the “weaker sex”, and it often shows through in the relationships.
I personally believe that an American woman would have some cultural difficulties being with a Russian man, unless he has spent enough time here to “acclimate” to American culture, laws, and women.
I would look around Elena’s Models website, and read on Russian culture. Much of what she says applies to both men dating Russian women and American women dating Russian men (although the site is oriented towards men dating women).
http://www.womenrussia.com/russians.htm
All that said.. it could just be your lack of understanding of Russian culture, and he may be a very fine man that would make you very happy.
Your guess is as good as anybody’s. I certainly wouldn’t advise you to follow him to Russia, as its primarily a 3rd world country. Drugs and std’s are snowballing there now. Mafia style crime bosses. Forced prostitution. But ultimately you’ll have to follow your own heart. Just keep an eye on any nuances. Good luck.
I too dated a Russian guy and was crazy about him, but you got to understand that in the end they do prefer to be with Russian or Eastern European girls.
They love to be chased by the girl, according to my Russian girlfriends, it’s because there aren’t many men over there. And that is a huge challenge. Unless he is really, i mean really serious about you he will introduce you to his parents and friends.
Good luck….they are divine heartbreakers.